Just Add Love!

It’s really important that we, as women, take care of ourselves and give ourselves permission to allow ourselves to come first. Not just every so often, but for a little bit each and every day. If we don’t,  we’re in trouble.
I know I’ve succumbed to the everyday stresses and pressures of momhood and every day life, and it left me in a dark and lonely place. I became disillusioned and incredibly unhappy and dissatisfied with my life. And, although my husband helped me and supported me the best he knew how, under the circumstances, he still didn’t truly understand where I was at or how best to help me. He never will- and it isn’t his fault. Until he or someone else takes a walk in the shoes I wore (as well as some of my dearest friends)- they’ll never truly understand what it is like.
What is “it”?
Depression. Of course, hormones was the biggest factor that played into the depression scenario, but it wasn’t the only thing. Lack of communication, learning to raise two children on my own (oilfield wife syndrome), and little outside (read female companionship) support, and winter times all contributed to the erosion of a healthy mental state. Thank goodness for CHANGE! (and help).
Recently, I’ve been experiencing a change. A change deep within me, and it’s catapulted me into a dimension I haven’t experienced and occupied in quite some time. Maybe I’ve never experienced this “life plane”. It certainly feels new- foreign- to me. Its warm and pleasant, and most of all welcome! It began with counseling, gave me a map to follow, found me good female friends and support to lean on (and return the favor for them!!) and now I’m blazing my own trail in my life. Along the way, I’ve still struggled here and there, but at the same time, I’ve learned to get comfortable in my own skin again, stay on top of the important day to day tasks and include time for my own imperative self care. The biggest change I’ve noticed, because I take of myself, is that I’m willing (maybe even granting myself) the chance to think positively. I’m looking at life optimistically; there’s an explanation for everything, and there’s always a silver lining. You just need to look for it. You’ll find it when you do.
I am the main focus of the layout I shared a couple days ago. I rarely make it into my scrapbook albums. I purposely added myself. I purposely created a layout with just me in it. First and foremost for myself; secondly for my children and their children. I am not invisible. I am a vital component in my family, my world, my scrapbook albums. My legacy, my children, should also look back on their mom- fondly- in her physical form- not just on pieces of art and history she created with her own hands. That woman with the dark hair put a lot of love into those albums (and herself!!); starting with an idea, it began in her heart, travelled down her arms and into her hands. From there, it transferred into whatever she touched. That’s what made with love means (and how it starts).
(That’s how I explain “made with love” to the girls, by the way).
Do me a favor- stop forgetting yourself and start making yourself number one. Just for an hour. Everyday. You’ll thank yourself for it!

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